For the past 2 1/2 years, my husband and I have had custody of our nieces. (His brother's kids) Their dad is what I would classify as a deadbeat. The longest he has held a job is maybe six months. Any excuse he can come up with to not work, he uses it. The reason we have custody is not because of the fact that he doesn't keep a job; it's because he got busted for drugs. He has given the entire family a bad name. We really thought he was doing much better over last summer, and decided that he was responsible enough to keep the girls for the school year. He had a job (making more money than my husband) and his wife was working as well. Forgot to mention that he met his wife while he was still in "rehab". The kids were doing pretty well in school and seemed to be fed and clean, so we assumed everything was going alright. They changed phone numbers about as much as I change clothes, so it was sort of hard to get in touch with them, but we trusted that they were still doing the right things.
A little over a month ago, he got a job working for my dad at a bunk bed manufacturing plant. He lasted less than a week. This idiot lived within a mile of the place, and didn't show up for work because it didn't pay enough. I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure a job paying a little money is better than no job and no money. Then, this week, they all moved in with my mother-in-law. She has a 16-year-old son and her sister who is terminally ill who both live with her in a 2 bedroom house. Then, they add another family of four into the equation. They're packed in there like sardines. This weekend, we stopped by, unaware that they had moved in, and my MIL was outside in her car, weeping. The jack-off wanted her to go buy two boxes of Claritin so that he could take them and trade them for a car. We all know what that looks like, right? Basically he wanted someone else to do the dirty work and take the rap for his illegal activities. I, for one, will not sit idly by. I'm not putting myself in jeopardy because he can't break a habit. My MIL said that for the last 2 days, he hadn't slept or eaten, and he had left in the middle of the night to go to the ER. A little fishy, huh? When I confronted him about the situation, he went off the deep end on me, and instead of dealing with his problems himself, he decided that he wanted to get his wife who weighs about 185 pounds to take care of it. Did I mention that I weigh 120 pounds, and I'm just over 6 months pregnant? He's a real man, huh? She was threatening to beat me and everything else. I think if she wants to fight, then fine. She's a convicted felon, and if she threw and landed a single blow, it could be considered attempted murder of a fetus. Stupid bitty...
I went to my friend, who was the on-duty police officer in town, and discussed the matter with him. My brother-in-law is wanted in our county for back child support, and so my husband and his mom freak out because they know he will go to jail if there is any law enforcement involvement. I personally couldn't care less. I think the piece of crap needs to sit there and rot. It's not fair what he's doing to his kids. He was so strung out when we went by, that he could barely hold his eyes open, not to mention all the "pick marks" on his arms and face. He tried to tell me that he had a vitamin deficiency, but I'm not stupid. We were going to go today to sign custody of the children over to DHR, but my MIL went ape. She started crying and begging us not to, and said that those kids were her life. My husband decided to give them a couple days to try to come up with a way for her to get custody of the kids before we did anything. I know the poor kids have been through a lot in their little lives, but I almost think that it would be best for them to never see their dad again. All he seems to do is hurt them. I changed jobs a few months ago, and though I like this job much more than the last one, I don't make enough money to support three, soon to be four, children. My husband works, and makes decent money, but his check pays the bills, and mine pays for groceries and gas. I simply cannot afford to take that back on. The kids have been in our custody since the day before my son was born. I was twenty-one when I took on the role of "mom" to two kids that weren't even my own. My husband and I have been the family caretakers for the last five of the six years we have been married. We haven't really had time to spend with each other as a family, because we have been too busy taking care of everyone else. First, my father-in-law passed away after my husband and I had been married for only 7 months, and we took my MIL and little BIL in, because they had nowhere to go. They lived with us for the majority of the past 5 years, and have just moved out in the last 6 months. Still, my husband is constantly having to lend them money. I've had enough. It's time we take care of ourselves, and stop bailing everybody else out.
Seriously, it's time that we focus on our own family, and stop trying to hold everyone else's together. You can only stretch so far before you break, and I'm just about to break. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a deadbeat who won't take care of his kids. But even worse, is when he puts his kids in danger because he "needs" to feed a habit. Some people should be banned from procreation...just my opinion.
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